Dr. S starts by telling me that it's bad news. She may have been thinking that I was holding out for that 5% chance that it was benign. I can tell however that my body is trying to deal with something - so I haven't even really considered that - except maybe what it would be like, having started this blog and given everyone the bad news, to have to tell everyone that I don't have cancer! That would have been embarrassing!
It isn't so bad - it could have been oh, so much worse! The biopsy has confirmed that I have invasive, ductal carcinoma with an overall intermediate grade. It is classified, on a preliminary basis only, as a Stage IIA cancer as the tumour is larger than 2 cm but not larger than 5 cm and has not spread to the axillary lymph nodes. All of the test results are now in and there is no indication of any cancer anywhere else. I have an appointment with a surgeon who comes highly recommended by a number of people Dr Mirsky, on October 11. I'll be scheduled for surgery after that and about four to six weeks after surgery I'll begin courses of chemo and radiation. All the details of the follow up treatment can only be determined once the lesion is removed and they can get a definitive grading and classification of the cancer. So, not nearly as bad as it could have been - and I have nothing to be embarrassed about!
After giving me the news, Dr. S looks at me quite seriously and says, "I just don't want you to turn into a cancer survivor". Now, there are many ways that this could be interpreted! I look at her and say, "I don't even know what you mean". I'm trying to give her my friendliest questionning look.
"Well, I don't want you to introduce yourself that way. The Breast Cancer business is very political." Again, what?
My cousin Kadriye intervenes, "I think what Dr s is trying to say is that she doesn't want this to identify you from now on."
Dr S agrees with Kadriye and immediately begins to shake her head. "You're just not that type. I won't worry." Awesome! She does want me to survive, she just doesn't want me to become militant and political and take on a "cancer-identity"! I love Dr S, without her I wouldn't have found this this early. But man, she cracks me up!
On a much brighter note, Logan has been selected to attend the biggest regatta in North America in Boston in two weeks. He'll be the anchor in the four man boat. Lots of excitement for him.
My cousin, Kadriye, is visiting from Victoria and we spent a glorious day walking to little Italy, brunching at Stoneface Dolly's and doing a litte shopping. Tomorrow we're planning on sleeping in late and cruising Westboro in the afternoon.
Love to everyone.
Silly Dr. S to think that Donna B would define herself in this way! Of all of the ways that I know that you self-identify, "survivor" or "victim" are the last that come to mind! I hope to be in Boston in 2 weeks and would love to see Logan.
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