Chemo Round 7 was unfortunately not the time time to forget my earphones at home. I was however a little rushed getting to the hospital for 9 (that now seems so early) and I forgot to check my bag for them. I was the first patient into Pod 6 last Friday (one of my two fave pods) and was joined after about 20 minutes by an older patient who was there for the first time. Her first question to the nurse, "Is this really going to take five hours?" I burst out laughing. Yes, when they tell you five hours they mean it! It's equivalent to an entire school day. Best to bring things to do, like books to read, and iPhone with games to play, crossword puzzles, knitting, anything that will keep you occupied for the duration. Sadly, this new patient didn't bring enough to keep her occupied - sadly for me.
Newbie took a bed across and one down from me. I spoke to her from my bed at one point only briefly (after I burst out laughing actually) to reassure her that the wonderful nurses would take great care of her and that they would provide her with water and even ginger ale and crackers is she liked. This after Newbie explained that she hadn't even brought water for her five hour ordeal! Things started off well. I was getting high as a kite with the benadryl they give me before treatment (it's quite something - makes me totally loopy and fairly incoherent at times - WEEEE!) and Newbie was getting the intro to all the at-home drugs she was going to have to take to combat the nausea. I settled into reading while I was still able to keep the words from swimming off of the page and eventually Newbie did the same.
The Pod quickly filled up and the nurses were running around and the Newbie was joined in the chair beside her by a lady of about the same age. They got to chatting - loudly. They went into great detail about their cancers, their children, they seemed to have a little, subtle competition about whose son was the better son, they discussed why grapes are better to bring to a long chemo session than an apple (b/c grapes you can have a few now and then some more later, but once you start eating an apple - well that's a commitment to the finish) and on and on and on. While I probably could have blocked all of this out, what I really wanted the earphones for was to block out the recurrent theme that these women sprinkled through the conversation: we're all terminal.
"My brother I used to speak to about three times a year. He moved out west 25 years ago and he was much younger than me. Now he calls almost every week. He's afraid of losing his only family. But we're all terminal. We're terminal from the day that we're born. We're all dying here."
"I had bladder cancer but they fixed that. Now it's in my spleen and I have tumours on my legs. But we're all terminal anyway. Everyone here is terminal. It's inevitable."
FOUR HOURS OF TERMINAL CONVERSATION THAT WAS INTERMINABLE!!
I get that this is perhaps a coping mechanism - or perhaps merely a manifestation of two generally morbid personalities, but either way the chemo ward is perhaps not the place to indulge. While I still generally think I couldn't possibly have had cancer (I wasn't sick until chemo started) there are people that I see who are clearly very sick - and not just from chemo. But come on! Never under estimate the power of positive thinking and a positive attitude. If you don't have one, fake it on the ward! It totally ruined the buzz I had going from the Benadryl they give me before the Toxol, man:)
I hope that I see many of you on March 30 for the ringing of the bell. While it is impossible to accurately predict the time I will be finished (depends on how fast the pharmacy is and how busy the nurses are) I estimate that I'll be ringing around 12:30. The chemo ward is on the second floor of the Cancer Centre at the General Hospital and you can ask the receptionist which Pod I'm in that day, or follow the sounds of laughter around the floor. The best news of all: the PICC line comes out right there in the chemo ward before I leave:0
One last thing, Paule Fournier, the woman I met who is doing a photo journal of her own journey has her show opening at the Bruyere Gallery this Friday, March 23. The opening reception is from 5 to 7 at 75 Bruyere Street. It should be a wonderful show and I hope that you can all drop by. Here is a link to a little blurb about Paule, who is an amazing woman.
http://www.emcbarrhaven.ca/20120322/entertainment/Seeing+cancer+through+a+camera's+lens
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