Anyway, the worst fears have now come true and I have to tell my mother - but I really am putting this off as long as possible. I know that she will be very upset and want to be there for everything. This is not a criticism - it's just that we're very different. Whereas I would have told no one if it hadn't been for Dr S and I will go to all appointments alone, mother will want to go to everyone. She'll call while I'm still at appointments wanting to know the results. This is going to be hard.
In the end, here is the e-mail that I sent to my family (on Wednesday, Sept 21) - and guess what? Mostly it seems to have had the desired affect.
I have some bad news. I have invasive breast cancer that was discovered on a routine mammogram this week. More tests have to be done and eventually (hopefully soon), the lesion will be removed. Then there will be chemo and who knows what. I've been told that this thing will kick the shit out of me before I kick the shit out of it - but that is certainly the plan!
I've decided that one of the weapons I'm going to use is totally positive energy. I'm doing meditation and yoga and dancing to all my fave tunes and laughing. So, send me jokes, take me to comedy clubs and dancing - but no sympathy - no furrowed brows and keep the tears to yourselves as well!
I'll be calling on friends and family this winter to help out with the kids, etc. I should be back to work about this time next year - which is one of the bright sides!
Sorry to drop this on you in an e-mail - but it's the only way that I can do it. Anyway, process and then give me a call when you can. Cheers.
My mother's response:
It will be awhile before I'll be able to call you according to your terms! Do you know the cell? Have they caught it early? Will you be having a biopsy? When? Is there anything I can do right now to help you?
...and then....
If you can possibly arrange it, try to get yourself referred to Doug Mirsky (723-2323) - he's supposed to be the absolute best and evidentally he's a wonderful man as well.
...and then...
OK Donna, we're going to play this very positively. You're absolutely right - attitude can make all the difference. I will be as positive as I can possibly be. Let me know what your schedule is and how I can help.
And when I got home that evening my awesome parents were here with the kids, the house was upside down as Syd was making cupcakes for a bake sale/car wash fundraiser, and my parents had bought me four seasons of the Big Bang and a season of Mike & Molly - to keep me laughing!
Way to go M&F! Keep it up!
Hi Donna - ready or not, word is getting out to the whole fam damily now. I admire your approach to this daunting diagnosis and will be thinking of you often and following online. If there's anything I can do, please let me know. Even though I live in Boston, it's a quick flight to get up north if I can do anything to help. Or if you ever want to get away, we have a guest room here and a yoga studio, acupuncture and massage therapy right down the street. Much love - cousin Kim
ReplyDeleteHi Kim. I am not surprised that word is out - that's in part why I decided to do this - I couldn't keep track of who knew and who didn't and it was getting difficult for those who knew to not discuss it. It's great to hear from you and we truly appreciate your offer of assistance. Please keep in touch and send some good karma our way. Lots of love.
ReplyDeleteDonna -- please send my love to your Mom. She is definitely smart and generous and kind... Have you gotten into Modern Family yet? I think of the show and tears start rolling down my face; it is incredibly funny and, come to think of it, I know that I will hear that distinct Donna laugh when you start watching it. More love from Boston....DB
ReplyDeleteHey DB. I don't have T.V.! I'll check out the DVD store adn see if I can find this. Mom is following the blog - silently - so I'll make sure that she sees your note. Love ya
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