Sorry - with all the angst I'm having over my neighbours, I totally forgot about radiation:)
On Monday I went for my "markings", required before my first rad treatment. I had heard conflicting things about whether the markings were permanent. They are actually permanent tatoos placed over the relevant area from which the rad technicians calculate where to beam their rays at you during treatment. No thank you!
I know, it seems rather inconsistent to now have a tatoo and yet turn my nose up at these new ones. This is especially so when everyone goes to great lengths to point out that the marks are so small - "you'll hardly ever notice them. They will be a reminder of your battle with cancer." Seriously, who wants that? I don't want any reminders of this: my hair will grow back (it can't possibly stay this white forever); my tatoo is a reminder of my kids and taking chances; and my boobs will be new and beautiful (i.e. bigger) when this is all over with. Plus, I really hate black.
I drove to the Cancer Centre on Monday. I know, I'm supposed to walk but the weather was so ugly and I was so tired from my weekend away with a bunch of 13 year old girls that I just didn't have it in me. I was shown where to gown, given a locker and told to wait in the waiting area. I put my jacket on over the gown - bloody cold it was. Eventually someone called out something close enough to my name that I got up and followed her. She started in about the tatoos and I interupted telling her that I didn't want them. She spent the next twenty minutes trying to convince me to get the tattos - but I'm glad that I didn't!
I lay on the table with my right arm over my head. Following the strict instructions that I received, I lay there limply while the two techs moved me around on the bed, lining me up to a laser. They made little dots on me and called out numbers to one another and then did a CT scan. Following that, there was nothing left to do but the marking.
The tech uncapped a blue Sharpie and went to work. I have five big blue crosses across my body: two on the right; two in the middle and one on the left. The markings come off in the shower, when you sweat and when you put on the cream they will give me to help ease the pain of the burn. To help with this, I got my very own Sharpie to periodically re-draw the lines! Sadly however I'm not allowed to re-draw them myself - I have to lay down, again with my arm overhead, and have someone else draw them. So far that's been Sydny's job and she's doing great.
I'm very anxious for the radiation to begin - well, actually for it to end. I'm determined to walk there and back daily. If I then fall into bed for the remainder of the day, so be it. Mom has complained that I'm too independent and haven't let her take care of me enough, so this may be her big chance. If the radiation and walking wipes me out then I'll leave it to her to do the groceries and cook supper:)
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